Bah Bah Bah... no I haven't turned into a sheep but I am extremely annoyed at Simon Cowell... as are a lot of other people... if you don't care about X factor don't bother reading this.

OK you know I'm not the target X factor audience... like I'd never buy their Christmas single or anything and I know that it's a money-making scheme, so that's not a shock or anything, but there really is a fine line between what the public will accept as a scenario designed to bring out emotions and manufactured drama. Once it goes over the line they totally lose interest, which has been seen with things like Big Brother. X factor has been happily swinging along that line for the last few years. It's a big prize and there seems to be consensus that people with talent in singing should compete for this singing prize... and Simon Cowell actually saying what he thinks without worrying about people's feelings has been part of the magic.

But it's gone wrong for the last two weeks. And it isn't Jedward's fault. Jedward are annoying, but I can see how they would be great on a Saturday morning kids show. They shouldn't be booed, but no-one should vote for them. Most years there's been some sort of slightly dodgy novelty act in the final 12... so fine... people find them funny despite (or perhaps because of) the negative feedback they've got from Dannii, Cheryl and Simon. And because in this show you vote FOR someone to stay in and not AGAINST someone, the votes of all the people who want Jedward to go and spread across the other acts. Again this is fine, but as the numbers get smaller the spread of votes is thinned out and Jedward are not going to get any new votes. So it was unsurprising that they were finally in the position of possibly being booted on Saturday. And we're all thinking finally we're getting down to it - separating the wheat from the chafe... but true to form from the previous week Simon sent it to deadlock, siding with the weaker singer(s). He keeps defending his position saying that that Lucie would not have won and that it was up to the public who decide. Bollocks Mr Cowell, Bollocks I say, so are you saying, Mr Cowell, that you shouldn't be a judge? Well fuck off then!

His decision is the beginning of the end for X factor. And, you know, Simon was terribly bored by the whole audition process so maybe he's so sick of his cashcow that he'll burn the show down with Jedward at the top. I mean it wouldn't be the first time his label had a crap act and it won't be the last. So that was it... I can see a lot of people switching over to strictly, because it's one thing to find a novelty act entertaining for a couple of weeks, it's quite another to see a so-called-expert so clearly take the 'heighten the drama' route picking the shitest option. So now its so clearly manufactured drama that no-one can deny it.

However I'm not sure if I'm so sickened that I will stop watching... I mean I might well... I suppose we'll see next week. My three favourites are still there: Stacey, Jamie and Olly. My TV commitments tend to be suddenly changeable... if I switch off it is likely that I'll switch off for good.

Actually my big surprise in all this is how much I find myself liking Dannii Minogue... I mean historically I would never have liked her. I didn't like her when she started in the show. I think I got to like her a little last year because Ruth was my fave and they were great mates. This year I noticed a big change, because she's all happy and positive, and has moved away from the plastic face (botox is a bad idea people), but when she said 'I obviously did something wrong' when asked how she felt about Lucie leaving, it actually brought a tear to my eye... something Dannii Minogue said brought a tear to my eye! I could never have predicted that. Fuck Simon let's have Dannii as the main judge!

I'm now extremely excited about tomorrow night. A big gang of us (or actually two gangs which slightly merge in the middle) are going out to this huge costume party. My costume is ready and I think it's pretty impressive. There's a big cash prize for the best costume so I think we'll see lots of great efforts, which I think is one of the best things about being out on Hallowe'en. Two years ago I saw this guy who dressed up as a lego man and had constructed this huge papier mache head. It was so cool. I think the homemade costumes are the best. For me making a costume is part of the fun... at least it was when I was a child... ok I think every Hallowe'en I reminisce about black bin liner based costume, but you know, it was imaginative. Buying a full costume seems to skip that bit. On saying that I did buy bits of my own costume... but construction was involved too. To the left you can see de nephew in his own pumpkin costume... These are the kinds of photos we will show prospective brides in the future!!

OK I'm in two minds as to whether to recap the things that happened in September/October that made me too busy to blog, or whether I should just go forward. Perhaps a little summary:

New Job:
I've been in the new job for awhile and its fine. I would go as far as great except that it's so fricking busy. It turns out it used to be a full time job, and now I'm doing it in about half the hours. Mostly it's accounts and various administration, which is actually nice. I'm so used to (and tired of) doing this big unwieldy task that it can actually be a relief to do small, manageable, completable tasks like balancing petty cash, ordering stationary and filing. The people, workspace and ethos are nicer than any place I've ever worked. And while there are a few exceptions, any blips are so small in character as to be easy to deal with. Mostly I've spent the last 2 months organising systems to be more efficient and trying to establish who everyone else is! Oh and organising the Christmas party!

Thesis:
Speaking of Christmas... there's a plan to have a full draft by then (this plan is motivated by me taking Christmas off - apart from January marking!) The plan was going well, but slid a bit over the weekend, but I hope to be back on track soon. I'm just getting the head down and it seems to be working

Family:
De nephew is getting so much bigger and really making that transition to little boy.... he's also a one-boy germ warfare machine. He's always got something and he always gives it to me. I was sick over the weekend as a result! He's currently obsessed with Tigger, but the best way of entertaining him is to give him a press full of tupperware... it eludes me why we bother buying toys for children at all! In other family things my mother had a health problem, which was sorted out with an operation in the end. Because of all that I had a period of time where I tried to see my parents every day, to do things for them, check if they needed anything, and to chat.... and also distract my mother from housework. She's never had the urge to do housework in her life, but tell her to get into bed and she starts cleaning everywhere. I gave her all of the west wing to watch which she got addicted to and has only just finished (she's now despairing as to what to watch... I have explained that we all went through it - I've pointed her towards Entourage as its my new favourite show, she says she'll give it a shot [GW can't get over that I would suggest my mother watch such a graphic show... I had to explain that this woman has seen Paris Hilton's sex tape, but that's another story!]). Anyway she's all grand now, which is great, but it was another thing that sapped my time.

Career stuff
In the meantime I also did my first ever interview for an academic post. I was really surprised at being called for interview and was lucky I had saved the job spec because I totally forgot I’d applied. On going there I had really mixed feelings because everything had been so topsy turvy and I’d finally got sorted with a nice admin job. So while getting this job would be brilliant for my career and that, I found I didn’t want something that would upset the balance I had just managed to achieve, so I knew if offered I couldn’t turn it down, but moving to another country and starting a new job with about a week’s notice would be hard.

It all worked out well actually. In fact it had the best possible outcome. The interview went well. It was a good experience. Some things do translate across from other interviews and other things need to be prepared. I have a good idea where I’m weak now. They didn’t offer me the job and I didn’t have to upsticks (although I think I’d happily move there next year), but they did say I was second on their list and I gave them a lot of trouble. Apparently in the end it came down to the other person fitting their course requirements slightly better than me. Anyway it was a great confidence boost because it was a pretty impressive institution, so it was nice to know I am good enough to be taken seriously at a place like that, and maybe some time in the future when I’ve left the hell of thesisland something will come up there or connected with it.

Writing job:
I finished my term on the writing job quite well, although I cut my targets in the last few weeks because the family stuff made it impossible. My boss was really understanding about it. It was nice to be paid for my writing, but the targets were hard to meet.

What else?
Oh yes I am due to get a car soon. It was a gift, so I didn't have to buy it, although it isn't the swanky alfa romeo, but a nice little peugeot, which will be cheaper to insure and run... although it is so small that my knees hit the steering wheel, and there is no power steering so I think I'll have to learn to drive all over again!! But my very own car... hurrah!

oh yes and my friends S & G who got engaged a while back have decided they will get married in 2010 and that they will get married at the zoo, which has to be the best venue I've ever heard. I'm even more excited about it now!

OK now you can see why blogging suffered over the last while. I am back, but I expect I won't be blogging to previous levels for awhile as I'm still under quite a lot of time pressure to get this damn thesis down.

How've you all been?

Miss World!

Wig: check
Glow in the dark stars and planets: check
Sash: check


Still required: Tiara

Halloween is coming.... can you guess what it is yet?

I feel like I've been through a wringer for the last few weeks, but things are finally sorted and I shall start a new job in two days. I interviewed for this job almost two weeks ago. I really liked it and really hoped I'd get it, then when they didn't call with an offer the next day I knew it was a rejection. This was confirmed the day after with an email. I was really down in the dumps because I really liked the place, the job was part-time and well paid so it would really facilitate me finishing my thesis. More than that though the people seemed really nice, the work seemed interesting and it got bonus points for people wearing jeans in the office! They seemed to like me, I liked them, but it didn't come together. The market being what it is there wasn't much else out there and even though I had some other interviews I didn't feel the love with them at all.

So all seemed lost: financially I was screwed and thought I would have to give up my apartment. After an emotional few days I made the decision to bite the bullet and move back in with my parents (and I'm 30!). I even got to the point of leaving a message with my landlord to call me back so I could give notice - adding to this I was looking to get legal advice to see what I could do if I was sued for the remainder of the rent on the lease (which the landlord was entitled to do). Anyway then I got an email from this place late in the evening saying the first choice for the job had gotten a better offer and would I like to take it.

I should have been relieved (and I am now) but mostly I was so tired with the ups and downs of everything. I left another message for the landlord saying 'ignore the last message'. Even with all that I still couldn't quite believe that the downs were done. I was to talk terms this morning but started to get worried again when the morning passed with no call. Eventually they got in touch and we sorted it all out. So I'm now relieved. I still have a couple of things to iron out, but mostly I'm sorted now, I think.

I feel like I could lie down and sleep for 100 years now!

Yes I've been neglecting the blog, and not just because of the new internet writing job (but partly), mostly because I'm so topsy turvy at the moment. So here are some things:

1. Writing job going fine, would even be enjoyable if I wasn't concerned about the targets

2. someone shouted a review of a Chinese takeaway I was about to enter out of a car window last night!

3. Hello my name is Aunty Helpful Dictator and I cannot deal with uncertainly. If it's all going to hell in a handbag I'd prefer to know and deal with it rather than coping with the uncertainty!

4. I got a swiss ball for 5.99 in LiDL. I think if I sit on it and play computer games that should count as exercise.

5. I sent good things out to the universe (by giving blood) and got a quicker response than expected... but it all just contributes to the uncertainty!

6. I wish I could allow myself a good whinge about how everything's a struggle and the world's not fair, but I know lots of parts of my life and fine, great even, and that sometimes things do work out for me, so I can't really complain. But I'd love a good teenage strop about now!

7. Oh and I might be getting a free car (see sometimes things do fall in my lap) AND it's an Alpha Romeo.... actually it's a broken Alpha Romeo, that might be prohibitively expensive to insure for me. And the engine is likely to fall out at ANY moment. But I might get a car, a free car, a swanky-looking free car, a swanky-looking free car that goes clack-clack-clack when it moves cos it's broken. sweet!